i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
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I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
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Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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