Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Michael Bay diarrhea
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
