My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
