Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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