plz talk dirty to me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
