operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
