everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
