Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
