Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
