yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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