Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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