I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
