Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
