just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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