Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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