I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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