it hurts more in the daytime
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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