He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
