yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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