With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
