You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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