I think I died a long time ago.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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