ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
