"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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