Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
