This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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