i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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