They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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