Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
