I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
