What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
