I looked at my own cervix.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
