we have officially lost it.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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