i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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