If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
