K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
smell my finger.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
