Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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