What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
