I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
