He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
