You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
