their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
