she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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