hotel room ftw
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
