She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
