if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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