Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My dick has a subreddit
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
