I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have fence marks all over my body
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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