I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My breasts were aching with rage.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
