Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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