Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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