2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
