I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize