this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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