he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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