the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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