Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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