You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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