I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
