How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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