Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
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I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
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I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How naked do you want me to be?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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