Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
