I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
