words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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