idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
