a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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