love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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