After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
