I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Randomize